When my fiancé and I got engaged, my parents reacted with tears. His parents reacted with a wedding checklist. And somewhere near the top—before guest lists [37.Who to Invite to My Wedding?] or menus—was this charming phrase: “Must follow Chinese traditions.”
Cue my internal existential spiral.
As a millennial bride raised in modern Singapore, I wanted a wedding that honoured our roots but didn’t feel like an old-school performance. I also didn’t want to start my marriage with unnecessary stress over roast pig delivery times.
So I did what many brides here do: I chose some traditions to keep, some to gently set aside and reimagined a few to fit our lives today.
Here’s what I learned about Chinese wedding traditions in Singapore—what we embraced, what we modified, and what we respectfully left out.
This felt like a meaningful gesture of respect to our families. My fiancé came over with oranges, liquor, a jewellery set and yes—the infamous box of wedding cakes. My parents beamed. My aunties cried.
It was a beautiful way to signal that this wasn’t just a marriage of two people, but two families. (Even if it did involve a lot of red boxes.)
Why We Kept It: It honoured our elders and set a tone of sincerity for the marriage.
Tip: Talk to both sets of parents early. Every dialect group has slightly different expectations, and it’s much easier to manage when you’re not one week away from the wedding.
I used to think this was an outdated concept. But my mum insisted—and honestly? Her lovingly prepared “嫁妆” (from bed sheets to traditional gold bangles) felt like a symbolic passing of the torch.
Also, the double happiness bedsheets were low-key adorable.
Why We Kept It: It was less about material things and more about her blessing for my new home.
This was, hands down, the most emotional part of our wedding day. We wore traditional outfits (my qipao was custom-tailored), knelt before our elders and served tea while hearing heartfelt blessings. There were tears, laughter and many ang baos.
Why We Kept It: It reminded us that we come from something bigger. It gave the day weight and heritage.
Modern Spin: We added soft background music, served our siblings bubble tea (don’t judge) and kept the ceremony intimate.
Traditionally, these games are meant to test the groom’s sincerity (and endurance). Think push-ups in a suit, wasabi challenges, and awkward dancing.
We kept the concept but toned it way down. Our bridesmaids opted for thoughtful, funny dares and a heartfelt letter-writing task instead of torturous food tests.
Why We Modified It: We wanted joy, not humiliation. We kept the laughs and skipped the drama.
Some families still observe this pre-dawn ritual involving candles, combs and good luck phrases. It symbolises stepping into adulthood.
My mum wanted to do it. I didn’t want to wake up at 4am. So we did a quiet, symbolic version at sunrise—just her, me and a comb she used when I was a child.
Why We Modified It: Tradition with meaning? Yes. Sleep deprivation and fire hazards? No, thank you.
Instead of the typical 10-course Chinese dinner, we worked with our hotel to create a slightly modern menu with local fusion elements and an earlier start time. Our friends with kids thanked us profusely.
Why We Modified It: We wanted elegance without the bloat—or the midnight end time.
No disrespect to the roast pig, but no one in my family even eats it. So we skipped it entirely and offered symbolic pastries instead.
Why We Skipped It: Costly, wasteful and not meaningful to us.
Some traditions require laying out red dates, longans and placing young children on the marital bed to bless it with fertility.
We kindly declined. I believe in love, not toddler energy on my brand-new mattress.
Why We Skipped It: Felt too superstitious and not aligned with our personal beliefs.
Some families expect full gold sets as part of dowry gifting. I wore the pieces gifted by my MIL and mum during the tea ceremony—but I didn’t feel the need to wear gold from head to toe just for optics.
Why We Skipped It: Jewellery is meaningful when it’s chosen with intention, not obligation.
Tradition isn’t about blindly following steps on a checklist. It’s about connection—to your roots, your family and the future you’re building.
If a ritual brings you closer to that, keep it. If it makes you feel like a stressed-out character in a K drama, rethink it.
Weddings in Singapore are this beautiful blend of the old and new. You get to decide what story your celebration tells.
And whatever you keep or toss—make sure it’s done with heart. Your own kind of heart.