So. You’re thinking about moving in together before tying the knot. Cue dramatic gasps from conservative aunties across Singapore. Someone clutch the pearls.
But honestly — in a city where couples discuss BTOs [50. Is applying for a BTO the same as getting engaged?] before they’ve even met the parents, the line between “serious relationship” and “we’re practically married already” is getting blurrier than my vision.
So the real question isn’t “Should you cohabit?”
It’s “Is cohabiting before marriage right for you two, specifically, in this little red dot of 5-room flats, traditions, and awkward family dinners?”
Let’s unpack.
In case someone’s aunt forwarded them this article by accident: cohabiting means living together in the same home — same fridge, same bed, same arguments about toilet rolls — before you’re legally married.
In other words: trial marriage. But without the legal paperwork. Or the angbaos.
While Singapore still leans pretty traditional (thanks, HDB rules and family expectations), more couples — especially those in their late 20s to 30s — are choosing to live together before marriage. Some do it because of delayed BTO keys. Others because they want to test-drive compatibility. And a few just really want to split Grab delivery fees.
But make no mistake: this isn’t just a Netflix-and-chill situation. You’re waking up next to morning breath, dealing with chore charts and figuring out whose towel is whose. It’s adulting… turned all the way up.
Let’s be honest. Everyone’s sweet over dinner dates and staycations. But can you live with each other’s mess, habits and weird shower routines on a daily basis? Cohabiting reveals if you’re actually compatible — not just emotionally, but practically.
Living together means you have to talk things out — from laundry cycles to boundaries with your mother-in-law. It can fast-track how you handle conflict. Spoiler: you can’t just storm off to your own place anymore.
In a city where rent is basically daylight robbery, splitting rent, groceries and utility bills can be practical. Love might be priceless, but SP bills are not.
Let’s be real. Some families in Singapore still see cohabiting as taboo — like you’re “skipping steps”. If you value harmony at family gatherings, this might matter more than you think.
If you’re planning a BTO together, cohabiting can create sticky logistics. What if you break up? What happens to the flat application? Not exactly romantic, but it is reality.
Some couples cohabit, stay comfy and then slide into marriage without actually resolving deeper issues. Comfort ≠ compatibility. Don’t confuse inertia with commitment.
Nah. And that’s okay.
If you’re super traditional, value religious/cultural norms, or simply want to save the “moving in” milestone for post-marriage life — totally fair. You do you.
But if you’re open to testing the waters, cohabiting can be a meaningful way to build your relationship with your eyes wide open. Not just about whether they snore or cook rice properly — but how you two make decisions, navigate stress and show up for each other when nobody’s watching.
Cohabiting is not a magic fix. It won’t prevent divorce. It won’t guarantee a perfect marriage. But it does offer a very real look at your partner in the daily grind — laundry, bills, hair in the sink and all.
It’s a bold move. And bold moves aren’t for everyone. But if you go into it with intention, clear boundaries and a mutual “this is serious” energy — it can be powerful.
Just don’t do it just because everyone else is doing it. This isn’t secondary school peer pressure. It’s your relationship. Your home. Your rules.