Picture this: It’s a regular Tuesday night. You’re scrolling through Instagram, dodging gym selfies and work-from-café shots, when suddenly—bam—you see it: your friend just got engaged. The caption reads:
“We’re so excited to celebrate with our favourite people in Bali!!!”
And just like that, the joy of the announcement is followed by a quiet voice in your head: “Wait… am I one of their favourite people? Am I supposed to go?”
Welcome to the confusing world of destination wedding invites—and that awkward little question we’ve all asked:
“Am I actually obliged to attend?”
Spoiler alert: you’re not. But let’s break it down:
1. Let’s Talk Cost (Because This Isn’t Just Another Dinner)
Destination weddings are beautiful, no doubt. Clifftop vows in Bali, sunset receptions in Phuket, maybe even a vineyard soirée in Australia. But they come with a price tag—and not a small one.
We’re talking:- Flight tickets
- Hotel (often selected for the vibe, not the wallet)
- Local transport
- 2–3 days of annual leave
- Gifts, outfits [54. How to dress appropriately to a wedding as a guest], and possibly even currency exchange pain
If you’re looking at $2,000 or more just to attend, you’re not being unreasonable for thinking twice. Financial priorities are real, especially when you’re budgeting for your own life goals—or your own wedding, for that matter.
So yes, you have every right to say no if it’s not within your means. Real friends will get it.
2. How Close Are You, Really?
Singapore’s social circles are tight—and sometimes tangled. You might be invited because of a shared JC class, a project at work, or being someone’s plus-one’s plus-one.
Ask yourself:- Are we in touch regularly?
- Would I willingly spend a weekend with this person, even outside of a wedding?
- Do I genuinely want to be part of their milestone?
If the answer is yes, then the trip might be worth the effort. But if you’re hesitating just reading this—your gut might already know the answer.
3. Will They Be Upset If You Don’t Go?
Look, some people might be disappointed. Weddings are emotional [13. Should Grooms Cry at the Aisle?], and destination ones feel especially personal. But here’s the thing: not everyone can afford the time, money, or mental bandwidth to attend—and most couples know that.
What matters is how you say no.
A polite, thoughtful message (maybe paired with a heartfelt card or small gift) goes a long way in showing you still care.
And if someone cuts you off for not attending their overseas celebration? That says more about them than you.
4. But What If You Want to Go?
Then go! If you’ve got the budget, the annual leave and the relationship to back it up—go and make it a mini holiday. Destination weddings can be incredibly memorable, with smaller guest lists, vibes, and once-in-a-lifetime moments.
You’ll bond with others, explore new places s and maybe even get to see a different side of your friends. (Just remember to pack extra Panadol and sunscreen.)
But go because you’re excited—not because you feel obligated.
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TL;DR
Are you obliged to attend a destination wedding?
No.
Should you feel guilty about saying no?
Also no.
Should you say yes only if your heart, schedule, and wallet all agree?
Absolutely.
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