Ah, groomsmen. The sacred squad. The brotherhood. The chosen few blessed with the honour of standing beside the groom and pretending you know how to fix a boutonnière without stabbing someone.
But let’s be real. In Singapore, where weddings can be full-blown productions with aunties, uncles, gatecrash games [2. Top 5 Wedding Gatecrash Games] and a buffet line long enough to trigger PTSD from NS, most groomsmen don’t actually know what they’re supposed to do.
Spoiler: it’s more than just showing up and not losing the wedding ring [59. Engagement Ring vs Wedding band: What’s The Difference?].
So whether you’re about to be a groomsman, or a groom trying to brief your bros without sounding like HR, here’s your no-nonsense, sarcasm-lightly-sprinkled guide to groomsmen responsibilities.
1. Be the Groom’s Emotional Buffer (a.k.a. His Human Powerbank)
Yes, weddings are romantic.
No, they’re not relaxing.
Your job? Keep the groom charged. Emotionally. Mentally. Caffeinated-ly. Especially when he’s stressing out because the florist is MIA and his mother just changed the table seating again.
If he needs water, get him water. If he needs a pep talk, give him one. If he’s staring into the void thinking about whether to switch back to the old tie, tell him he looks like a GQ model and move on.
2. Gatecrash Gladiators, Assemble
Ah yes, the gatecrash. A beautiful tradition where groomsmen get tortured by bridesmaids in the name of love.
You will be:- Eating wasabi on weird things.
- Doing push-ups in formalwear.
- Singing badly, in public.
- Negotiating red packets like a Carousell uncle.
And you will love it. Because this is where you earn your honour badge and your IG reel content. More importantly, it shows the bride’s family that the groom has friends who will quite literally suffer with him.
3. Help With the Logistical Chaos
In a wedding, everything is timed. There’s the tea ceremony [41. Tea Ceremony Norms in Singapore], the solemnisation, the buffet start time, the makeup artist who needs to leave by 3pm sharp.
Your job:- Know the schedule (even better than the groom).
- Coordinate with the vendors if needed.
- Herd guests like a pro. (Think polite bouncer, not drill sergeant.)
- Make sure the groom has his IC, rings, vows and brain all intact.
Pro tip: Assign one guy in the group to be the “Timekeeper” and another to be “The Fixer” (the one who knows where the extra safety pins, plasters and panadol are).
4. Help Out With The Bachelor Night (Without Getting Arrested, Please)
Yes, you’re allowed to plan a wild night.
No, it shouldn’t end with someone in the hospital or the groom sleeping in a bush.
Organise something fun and responsible. A good Singapore Bachelor Night could look like:- Bar-hopping in Boat Quay
- Karaoke with a ridiculous theme (think retro boybands)
- Escape room + supper + some light roasting of the groom
Just remember: don’t plan it the night before the wedding unless you want the groom’s eye bags to be visible from the drone shots.
5. Look Good. Like, Actually Good.
I know you think you’re fashion-forward. But this is not the time to outshine the groom with your red carpet outfit or novelty socks that say “I’m here for the beer.”
Stick to the dress code. Get your suit tailored. Shine your shoes. Comb your hair. Use deodorant.
Photos will be taken. Aunties will be judging.
Also: show up on time. Bonus points if you remind the other groomsmen the night before. No one wants to be the reason the wedding album has one empty spot in every group shot.
6. Speech? Maybe. Toast? Definitely. Presence? Always.
You might be asked to say a few words at the banquet [31. What to Include in a Best Man Speech]. If so, keep it heartfelt, short, and slightly funny. Don’t air the groom’s darkest NS stories or ex-girlfriend history in front of his in-laws.
If not, your presence is still powerful. Cheer during the march-in. Hype him up before the kiss. Be the one who’s keeping the energy warm, even during the post-dinner photo session.
TL;DR – Your Groomsmen Checklist:
✅ Emotional support (human tissue box)
✅ Gatecrash champion (suffer beautifully)
✅ Logistics sidekick (calendar and checklist guy)
✅ Party planner (but not party destroyer)
✅ Style icon (not peacock)
✅ Team morale booster (aka life of the party)
Final Words
Being a groomsman isn’t just about showing up. It’s about showing up—with heart, humour and the kind of friendship that says, “Bro, I got you. Even if you’re crying over your tie.”
So wear the suit [12. Tux or Suit? What Grooms Should Wear for a Wedding]. Embrace the weird gatecrash food. Raise the toast.
Because someday, when it’s your turn to stand in the spotlight, you’ll want your own crew of legends to have your back too.
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