I still remember the day my best friend, Cheryl, called me in tears — not from heartbreak, but from relief.
“We decided,” she said, between sniffles and laughter. “We’re skipping the wedding. We’re just signing at ROM and going to Japan. That’s it.”
No bridal gown [47. Different Wedding dresses for different body types], no hotel ballroom [40.Hotel Banquet or Garden Solemnization?], no banquet for 300 guests where half the people are your mother’s colleagues and the other half are your father’s badminton kakis. Just two people, a couple of witnesses, and a quiet decision to do forever — without the fuss.
In a place like Singapore, where weddings have become part-spectacle, part-social statement, part-family obligation, Cheryl’s choice felt radical. But it raised a question I’ve been turning over in my mind ever since:
Do you really need a wedding to prove you’re in love?
The Pressure is Real — and Expensive
Let’s be honest: weddings in Singapore are no small affair. A basic hotel wedding dinner can set you back $30,000 to $100,000. And that’s before you even factor in the gown, décor, photographer [26. Do I need a pre-wedding photoshoot?], or whether you’ll be engaging that “must-have” bridal content creator for your TikTok and IG reels.
And yet, despite the costs, the stress and the inevitable table politics (“Why must I invite my Cousin’s girlfriend again?”), many couples still dive headfirst into the pageantry.
Why? Because somewhere along the way, we’ve started treating weddings as proof — proof that the relationship is legitimate, successful, IG-worthy. That your love is not just real, but recognised, applauded, and — let’s be real — liked.
Whose Wedding Is It Anyway?
In our culture, weddings are rarely just about the couple. They are often community events — something you do not just for yourselves, but for your families, your extended network, even your neighbours who remember you as the girl who used to play at the playground.
We call it respect. We call it tradition [33.Chinese Wedding Traditions in Singapore]. But sometimes, it becomes pressure disguised as culture.
I’ve heard of couples delaying marriage because they felt they “couldn’t afford the wedding yet.” And I always want to ask — the wedding, or the marriage?
Love Isn’t Measured by the Guest List
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not anti-wedding. I had a wedding. Two kids and ten years later, I still flip through the album every anniversary. But I’ve also seen marriages crumble after grand weddings, and quiet ROMs blossom into lifelong partnerships.
A wedding can be meaningful, beautiful and memorable. But it’s not a metric for love. It doesn’t validate your feelings, your commitment, or your future. Only you and your partner can do that.
So, Do You Need One?
Here’s my take, from someone who’s been there, and seen both:
No, you don’t need a wedding to prove you’re in love. You only need one if you want one — not because your parents expect it, not because your friends are doing it and definitely not because the algorithm told you so.
What you do need is honesty. A conversation with your partner about what the two of you truly value. If that includes a wedding — great. Make it yours. If it doesn’t — even better. You’ve just saved a five-figure sum and potentially your sanity.
Either way, love doesn’t need a stage. Just a solid foundation.
And maybe, a quiet trip to Japan.
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