When my wife and I got married in 2017, we chose a modest garden venue [45. 5 Popular Wedding Venues in Singapore (2025 Q1 Edition!)] tucked away in the east. It wasn’t trendy, and the rental didn’t come with gold chairs, a hanging floral arch [51. Floral Arrangement trends for weddings (2025) in Singapore], or a harpist. But it was enough. It felt like us.
A few weeks after the wedding, someone I barely knew came up to me at a gathering and asked, “Bro, why didn’t you do a proper hotel one? I thought you were doing okay?”
I laughed it off. But inside, I was stunned. Since when did our wedding become a measure of our net worth?
Love, But Make It Premium
In Singapore, weddings have slowly but surely turned into an industry of comparison. If you’ve planned or attended more than two weddings in the past few years, you’ll recognise the silent scorecard:- 5-star hotel [40. Hotel Banquet or Garden Solemnization?]? Check.
- Designer gown? Of course.
- Wedding stylist + live string quartet [58. Live music at weddings - pros and cons] + photo booth [57. Photo Booth’s at weddings - fun or lame?] with customised neon signage? All ticked.
- Instagram carousel with “our love story” captions? Non-negotiable.
Don’t get me wrong — there’s nothing inherently wrong with beautiful celebrations. But what we need to talk about is this creeping notion that if your wedding isn’t grand, it isn’t good enough. That love must be dressed in luxury to be worthy of applause.
That, right there, is elitism. Dressed in lace.
Who Can Afford This?
The average cost of a wedding banquet in Singapore now ranges from $1,400 to $2,200 per table — and that’s just for dinner. Add gowns [47. Different Wedding dresses for different body types], suits [12. Tux or Suit? What Grooms Should Wear for a Wedding], pre-wedding shoots [26. Do I need a pre-wedding photoshoot?] (some overseas), décor, coordination, entertainment, and suddenly you’re in the $40K to $70K range — or more.
For many young couples, that’s a home loan.
And yet, many push ahead — some out of genuine desire, but many out of fear:- Fear of seeming “cheap”
- Fear of disappointing family
- Fear of not looking “successful enough”
It’s the same kind of quiet shame that creeps in when someone says they’re just doing ROM or a void deck reception. But since when did a heartfelt ceremony at the Registry of Marriages become something to apologise for?
We Need to Redefine “Success” in Weddings
Elitism thrives on unspoken rules — and one of the biggest is this: The more you spend, the more you must love each other.
But that’s a lie. A dangerous one. Because it pressures people to overspend and worse, to tie their self-worth to an event.
Weddings should be about intention, not impression. About promises, not performances.
When we focus more on the guest list [37. Who to Invite to My Wedding?] than the guest of honour (your partner!), we lose the heart of the celebration. And when we dismiss simpler, quieter weddings as “less than,” we create a society where love is seen as real only when it’s expensive.
A New Standard
Here’s what I’ve seen in the couples I’ve worked with, spoken to, and journeyed alongside over the years:
The most meaningful weddings — the ones that stay with you — aren’t always the flashiest. They’re the ones that reflect who the couple really is.
- A home solemnisation with just 20 people.
- A ROM followed by Zi Char dinner at East Coast Lagoon.
- A couple who saved on flowers and used the money to fund their BTO reno.
These stories matter too. And they deserve space in our wedding culture.
Let’s Celebrate Love, Not Luxury
This isn’t a call to cancel big weddings. If you can afford it and it brings you joy — go for it. But let’s stop equating extravagance with love, or budget with shame.
Let’s build a wedding culture in Singapore that makes space for all couples, all budgets and all kinds of “I do’s.”
Because at the end of the day, a marriage is built not on chandeliers and ice sculptures — but on respect, trust and a love that’s real behind closed doors.
And that? That costs nothing at all.
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